Thanksgiving and Family

 

As we approach the holiday season we look at what is important and who we love most. At my age I look back at the people in my life. Today I was checking the obituaries in my hometown. Since we moved away the local mortuary sites are some of the number one sources of information on how the folks at home are doing. I noticed someone had died that I played basketball and football against in the 8^th grade. He is nearly, within a month or two, the same age as me. It set me to thinking about what is important and who is important in my life.

Crystal and I married nearly 40 yrs ago. We had two biological children of our own and one that did not survive pregnancy. Both have grown into good men. They are both married and one is a math teacher and the other is a lieutenant in the prison system. Both are in their early 30’s and are advancing in their careers. They married college girls who are also working on careers of their own. Neither couple has had any children so far. I am so proud of them for the people they have become.

About the same time my oldest son was being born I had a first cousin who had a daughter of her own. She was a single mother who lived with her mother. Her daughter never knew her father but was over at our house a lot growing up. Her mother died nearly 11 yrs ago and her grandmother just in the last few years passed. She is such a part of our family that I consider her mine. She even calls me dad. I love her and her husband dearly. She is the only child to give me a grandchild whom I love dearly as well. She and her husband both work and are volunteer fire fighters on the side. She is a dispatcher for the state police and her husband is a professional firefighter working 24-36 hour shifts. She is not my biological daughter but my daughter just the same.

Finally, my last child is in administration in the Kentucky prison system. His wife is a clinical social worker. They too have not had any children yet. Again he is not my biological child but mine just the same. His mom is still living and many holidays I have to give so that he and his wife can visit with his mother. He is a distant cousin, we think. However, he is actually the best friend of my two boys. He has spent almost as much time at my house as at his own. His father died a few years ago. While we are probably distantly related that doesn’t matter as far as I am concerned he is mine. He is actually the eldest of the children.

I lost a child to the drug epidemic here in Kentucky. He was my nephew but I considered him mine as well. The last six months of his life he basically lived with us before getting his own place. I would have done anything for him. But, I couldn’t prevent what was happening to him. They say you should see the signs but what are you going to do with a 35 year old headstrong man even if you do see the signs. He had such a fun loving heart but drugs and alcohol took all that away. It all ended in tragedy on my front porch. I had night mares about that day for years. I don’t anymore. Last night I dreamed of him and it was so wonderful and so painful at the same time. We used to set a plate out for him each holiday but we have ended the practice. He would want us to get on with it. I can hear his voice “Awe Uncle Joel you all are gonna have to quit that shit.”

Finally, I have a godson that I seldom hear from. He married recently and I was unable to attend his wedding but the Boys got to go to Florida for the ceremony. He has become a coal miner in west Virginia and his wife is in college. He has grown from a little boy to a man. It has taken him a while with a few detours, but I am proud that he has made the conversion successfully. I wish I could see him more often but such is the way of life.

So, our thanksgiving table will be full with a couple of exceptions. The way these young people have to work these days makes it hard to schedule a time to get everyone together. I am thankful for what the good lord has seen fit that we might have. I am thankful for the health I have – even the pains, they make me who I am. You just can’t separate your past life from the life ahead of you. You have to confront the pains, the trials, the failures, and the successes. Learning from failures is the way you make progress through this old world.

I hope this message finds you well and I also hope that you have a blessed Thanksgiving. I know we already will. As life gets hard try to remember that it is the hard lessons that strengthen us. Just like a fan blowing across seedlings makes their stems grow stronger. “Adversity builds character” is what dad used to say. I say the adversity will build character if you channel your feelings in the right directions and that you learn from that adversity. Adversity without learning is just suffering for no purpose. Remember to learn from every little failure. But also remember that life, like Homesteading is a Marathon not a Sprint – Slow Down and Enjoy the Ride!!

Be Certain to Visit our Homesteading Channel on Youtube at http://Youtube.com/c/collegehillfarm  as we create and live on a modern homestead like our ancestors before us. Also check out and add your name to follow our weekly blog channel at https://collegehillfarm.blogspot.com so you do not miss our weekly ponderings on the past, present and future and on our Facebook page at  https://www.facebook.com/College-Hill-Farm-295659074295747