I Need Brownies!!!

 

Not the kind of brownies you are thinking about but I sure did crave brownies while we were sick with Covid. We were quarantining and had gone through all the sweet treats in the house. Now Crystal seems to always have a box of brownie mix in the cupboard but apparently we had gone through them all, dang kids. So for the last 4 days of our self imposed quarantine we were sweet less. Oh the humanity! Debbie is not that little skinny girl on the box!!!! But those were not the brownies I was referring too.

As we approach Christmas I think about the story of the old shoemaker. He is having a hard time keeping up and is falling behind. The elves/brownies show up and made him pairs of shoes every night that he would discover in the morning.  Well, I don’t need shoe elves I need mess destroying brownies. This year I have been the messiest builder ever. Every building here at College Hill Farm is in disarray. Even my computer table in the basement looks like a bomb has blown up around it. How did I let it go this far.

One of my least favorite tasks is cleaning up. It is my most disgusting failing. Self evaluation is the only true way to enlightenment. “A man’s got to know his limitations” Harry Callahan.  I blame it on my MS often but the truth is I get so absorbed with what I am doing that I just go ahead with what I want to instead of what I need too. I would like to think it is a sign of great intelligence. Einstein, Edison, Steve Jobs etc always had cluttered work spaces. Steve Jobs once wrote “So if your work area, like mine, is usually a mess, it's time to stop apologizing to the neat-freaks and start feeling good about our ability to prioritize. While our cluttered desks may not prove we're brilliant, they do show that we might be geniuses.”

You tell’em Steve!!! Well, that is what I tell myself. But there comes a point when messiness becomes dangerous. My common sense – which a most geniuses lack – tells me that my workshop is in such a shape as to be dangerous. My storage shed too. I can’t seem to even walk flat footed in there without stepping over something! Even the Goat Barn is filled with hazards. Plus I have one fell down barn and one in the process, so much for priorities, thanks Steve for the reminder.

With that in mind the next 4 days are going to be in the 50’s and 60’s but it is going to rain with nearly an 80% chance. So I am going to take the next 4 days and try and do something productive indoors. I am sure I will be side tracked many times. I will find some bobble that I have not seen in a year and think I put this up to do whatever with it and my mind will start thinking about what I was going to use it for. Next thing I know I will be looking for other materials to do that project. It’s a very creative process but in reality it is a CURSE! I have to force my brain to turn that off and focus on other things. It causes me great anxiety. It has taken me 59 yrs to understand this. Even though I understand it, it doesn’t stop my brain from doing it, bad brain bad……

With the construction/renovation of the house and the everyday operation of the house Crystal helped keep me grounded. We actually make a formidable team. As we were working on the house and solving the problems like how to run the electric without tearing out the lathe and plaster she would keep me focused on being safer. By that I mean she would get me to help her clean up the area. My brain was more than willing to help her even when it couldn’t help itself. I don’t know what that is, but that is the way it is. However, Crystal has never been an outdoors kind of homestead girl. She does not like to get dirty. She does not like the sun, just as white as a marble Greek Goddess. So outside I am left to my own devices.

Oh the strain!!! I need those brownies to help me keep the place straight. My workshop is nearly to dangerous to even enter. So Tuesday I have to start in there. I have at least 2 or 3 days work in there. Then the storage shed needs attention too. But should I start on the storage shed so I have some place to store some of the stuff out of the shop!!! Oh the decisions. I could be creating the next genius project using the brain power I am wasting on these mundane storage decisions! But the truth is I can’t even get to my table saw, workbench, or my band saw. I still have the greenhouse and tractor shed to finish this fall. It won’t be long till the winter solstice. I also started my compressor yesterday and it just grunted at me, not a good sign. Old guys have old tools and sometimes they don’t work right…. True on way to many levels.

So I guess I will try to shut off that creative portion of my brain and actually try and do what I need to do. I will look for a new compressor at Harbor Freight. Then pick up and put up the stuff in the workshop first. I will set aside the stuff that needs to go to storage and work on cleaning up what needs to happen. Then I will try to remember that Life like Homesteading is a Marathon not a Sprint – Slow Down and Enjoy the Ride. But do I have to enjoy the cleanup part? “I’m a man but I can change if I have to, I guess” Possum Lodge Mans Prayer.

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